Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dignity is for republicans.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
