i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
