kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
