He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
