where am i from again
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
