Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Damn victory sex feels great
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