my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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