3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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