I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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