I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
