Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
