He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
