when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
