She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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