ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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