honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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