Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
