dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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