Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
