Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
