So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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