I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
