Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
