Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
