I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
