Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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