Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm getting married
To pizza
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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