You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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