I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
