I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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