My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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