Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
