Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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