Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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