whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
