I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I CAN MOONWALK!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
