This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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