It's Friday. Sex?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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