it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
