Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
