Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
