i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
