Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't deserve a penis
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
