I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
