I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
