do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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