I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
