Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
