what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
