God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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