so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As shirtless as possible
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
